It's Too Late To Pretend
by ElloDoctor
Summary: Written for the Kurtbastian Week Kink Challenge in the category Age Difference. Librarian!Sebastian and Student!Kurt


The first time Sebastian sees Kurt is on Friday, the 14th of May. It's not a monumental occasion by anyone's standards. Sebastian, having been working at the library for more than 15 years has seen his fair share of odd people come through the doors and Kurt Hummel, while slightly unusual was someone who would have been completely forgotten had Sebastian never seen him again.

Kurt Hummel walks through the double doors, Sebastian's head shoots up at the sound and half-heartedly looks over the boy simply out of habit, taking in the tight jeans, loose undershirt and the navy blazer. The boy himself is undeniably pretty. He looks like something out Sebastian's twink faze but somehow still retains a great deal of masculinity, and from the way he is walking, this boy undoubtedly knows his power.

Sebastian is already looking back down at the report he's filling out, pushing his glasses further up his nose as he continues to write again. The moment is short though, he has only been concentrating for less than five minutes when pretty boy (_God _Sebastian feels old) is standing at the counter, lightly coughing in a way that he probably thinks is subtle, to get Sebastian's attention. Sebastian looks up dutifully, he doesn't always work up front but today Judith is in the backroom, meaning that Sebastian has to complete his work at the front desk and answer the (infrequent) questions of the patrons.

"Yes?" Sebastian asks politely, putting his pen down and trying hard to mimic the expression he has seen many times on Judith's face. It's not easy, he may not be the asshole he was all through high school and college but he doesn't have that easy pleasantness that some people seem to radiate in waves.

The boy smiles brightly at him and thrusts out a hand over the counter for Sebastian to shake. "Kurt Hummel," he says importantly and it immediately clues Sebastian into the fact that this boy must be in his second year of college. Students frequent the library, it has the best research facilities anywhere in the state and Sebastian's been doing this long enough to be able to label every single student that comes in here. It's a mean indulgence, something left over from his high school days.

But back then he had done it with an air of superiority because he'd been going places; now he does it because he probably needs to tell himself that he is not the exception and that most of them will be disappointed too.

He takes Kurt Hummel's hand in his gingerly and shakes it. "Sebastian Smythe."

Kurt Hummel beams at him and Sebastian's eyes crinkle with curiosity. He knows for a fact that most students are not this nice, especially those like Kurt Hummel. Kurt Hummel has a sharpness to him that Sebastian had recognised almost immediately and it lets Sebastian know that Kurt Hummel is most definitely trying to butter him up. Not that Sebastian really minds though, he _is _extremely pretty.

"What can I do for you?" Sebastian asks and Kurt smiles.

"I was wondering if you had a section," he pauses. "…On fashion."

Sebastian groans inwardly. Of course this Kurt Hummel is fashion student. But he's conscious of the fact that he _is _nice now or at least trying to be so he keeps his smile fixed in place.

"Unfortunately no we don't," he says and when he sees Kurt frown disbelievingly Sebastian speaks again, in a tone that is more superior than Sebastian would like. "This is a _research _library, Mr Hummel."

Kurt's face twists with annoyance. "Well _obviously,_ I am a student and I've come here for research."

"We don't have a fashion section," Sebastian repeats, already tired of the conversation. "I'm sorry."

He doesn't sound sorry one little bit and to Sebastian's surprise, he sees Kurt smirk.

"Fine," Kurt says. "Thank you for your time."

Sebastian nods, a little wary about how easy this Kurt Hummel had given up but happy to immerse himself in his work again.

"Have a nice day," he says, nodding, eyes already moving back down to his report. He hears the tap of Kurt Hummel's boots against the hardwood floor with the assumption that despite his undeniable attractiveness, Kurt Hummel will never be seen again.

Which of course means that he seems after weekend, bright and early on Monday morning, Sebastian is shelving. The two students that he and Judith employ on a part time basis for the mundane jobs like shelving and cataloguing are suspiciously absent. It means that Sebastian will spending the morning making sure that 920s are all in order and sorting through the books that were returned over the weekend. He's just placing a 649.1 away when Kurt waltzes in and Sebastian watches in interest when he goes straight to one of the computers reserved for the online catalogue that Judith had reluctantly created a few years ago. Sebastian hadn't really minded, he likes computers, likes that they're so much faster than when he was a boy and that he can do anything on his smartphone. But Judith is gaining on 60 and much to Sebastian's amusement she flat-out refuses to learn more than the bare minimum about the newest technology.

Sebastian watches from behind as Kurt types furiously into the computer. Kurt is wearing knee high boots today, along with crisp white pants and black waistcoat with gold trim. On most people, Sebastian muses, it would look terrible but on Kurt it seems to flatter everything about him. Kurt's long legs, slim waist and near perfect ass all manage to look even better than they had last Friday and watching him, Sebastian manages both to feel indescribably old and 20 again in the very same second.

But he's purely admiring Kurt; Sebastian can definitely blame it on the fact that he hasn't had sex since James had broken their engagement seven months ago. He can also blame it on the fact that he hasn't seen clothes that nice for years, his life is an endless cycle of boring button downs and dull suits that he has in abundance.

He busies himself with shelving again, partly to avoid his abrupt almost-checking out of a man who is at least 17 years his junior but mainly because the sooner this gets done, the sooner he can escape to the small staff room and enjoy a cup of coffee.

He does look up eventually though, just in time to see Kurt striding towards the counter and stopping when he catches sight of Judith. From where Sebastian is standing next to the trolley of books he has a good view of Kurt's sideways profile and the disappointment he can see written over Kurt's face makes Sebastian irrationally pleased.

The disappointment disappears though as soon as Kurt turns his head and sees Sebastian standing; only partially hidden by the shelf.

Sebastian, feeling strangely flustered at being spotted, merely raises an eyebrow at Kurt.

"Oh!" Kurt says brightly, practically bouncing over to Sebastian and stopping when they are only a few feet apart. "Hello Sebastian."

This time both Sebastian's eyebrows are raised with surprise at Kurt remembering his name.

"Hello Kurt," he says dryly and he places the book he'd been holding onto the still half full trolley. "How can I help you?"

Kurt smiles, looking gratified at Sebastian's use of his name and Sebastian hates how the sight makes him feel warm inside.

"Well," Kurt begins. "I was wondering if you had Persuasion by Jane Austen?"

Sebastian immediately wants to bang his head against the nearest wall. Kurt is looking at him hopefully but Sebastian can see a sadistic glint in his eye that shows that he knows _exactly_ what he's doing to Sebastian.

"We are a research library," Sebastian says through gritted teeth, watching Kurt's barely repressed glee at Sebastian's expression. "Not a library for pleasure, Mr Hummel."

Kurt practically grins at that and Sebastian's annoyance is almost forgotten at the sight.

"But do you have it?" Kurt persists.

Sebastian glares because this is the reason they have an online catalogue _dammit_.

"Yes," he admits finally, running a hand through his hair when Kurt smirks at him. "It's just over there, by the health section, in our very limited fiction section."

"Thank you," Kurt says, smiling sincerely and Sebastian just stares determinedly annoyed back at him.

With one last smirk, Kurt turns and heads in the direction Sebastian had pointed, hips swaying as he walks.

"You're welcome," Sebastian says belatedly, this time only feeling like a dirty old man when he shamelessly ogles Kurt's ass.

Sebastian figures out pretty quickly what had Kurt so interested in the online catalogue, only four days after the younger man had asked about Persuasion and unknowingly flaunted himself in front of Sebastian.

Sebastian is cataloguing and sticking barcodes on all the new arrivals because once again, their part time help is absent and Judith had asked (demanded) that Sebastian take over their duties for the day. He's just finished entering the information for several books all on crocheting (746s that Sebastian suspects Judith ordered for her own personal interests rather than necessity or request) when he lifts a large, heavy book onto the table without reading the title and starts to type it's ISBN number into the computer.

So it's a bit of a shock when he realises it's a book completely dedicated to the trends in men's fashion since the 1950s. Sebastian can only stare at it curiously, wondering why on earth Judith, someone who wears a grey pantsuit that is two sizes too big every day without fail; would order a book about fashion.

But of course _she _didn't.

Sebastian quickly scans the computer screen to see who has requested the book and when he sees the name Kurt Hummel, he doesn't even bother pretending to be surprised.

He sticks the barcode on, types all the necessary information and finally, sends Kurt (hummel-greateststar ) an email to tell him that his request has arrived and if he wishes, he can come read it when he next comes in.

Sebastian wonders why he is so eager to see someone who is as infuriating as he is good-looking and fascinating

"Are you enjoying your book?" Sebastian cannot stop his tone from coming out noticeably sour. It's the product of an awful day telling people off for being too loud (he's long stopped being embarrassed by what a stereotype he has become) and trying to make sense of Judith's garbled instructions that she had left on the work desk that morning before she left for a two week conference. It's Sebastian's first day running the library by himself and so far, it isn't going great. He tries to tell himself that it's not his fault, he's good at his job and he shouldn't expect everything to fall in to place right at once. But of course he does, his job is the one constant in his life and all the effort he has put in means he's bound to be disappointed.

About an hour ago Kurt had waltzed in, smiling happily and looking annoyingly perfect as he'd walked straight to the counter where Takashi gave him the enormous and unnecessary book on fashion. Takashi is one of the students who in Judith's absence is now allowed to man the counter while Sebastian takes care of things in the backroom and generally potters about being a middle-aged librarian who has nothing better to do. (Judith's words, not his.) Kurt had taken the book to the back of the library, curling up comfortably on one of the few couches that had been scattered throughout the library at Judith's insistence.

"I am," Kurt says, looking up and giving Sebastian a smug grin that reminds Sebastian eerily of himself. "It's very interesting."

"It looks it," Sebastian retorts sarcastically but in truth from where he's standing the glossy pictures look much more appealing than the local records he'd been going through that morning. Five years spent at Harvard, studying law and for it to come down to sitting in a dusty room, trying to read cursive without his glasses. It's been so long he can't even be sad about it.

Kurt smiles and the glint in his eyes makes Sebastian wonder if Kurt knows he's not exactly telling the truth.

"Not everyone can appreciate good fashion," Kurt says primly, managing to look superior despite that he's sitting on a couch while Sebastian stands in front of him.

"And that's good fashion?" Sebastian asks and he moves closer so that he is looking on to the book over Kurt's shoulder. He can smell Kurt's cologne from there and his suddenly conscious of what a dangerous line he's walking simply because of a few well-chosen steps. "I'm pretty sure that guy is wearing a belt around his neck."

The lean model in question is wearing white dress pants, expensive looking Gucci shoes and no top, an ensemble that highlights the fact that he is wearing loosely around his neck what to Sebastian looks like the belt he is wearing now.

Kurt gapes at Sebastian, rendered apparently speechless by his somewhat obvious observation. Sebastian smirks at nothing in particular, waiting patiently for Kurt to say something.

"That. Is. A. Scarf." Kurt says eventually through gritted teeth and his frustration has an air of familiarity about it making Sebastian wonder if he's had this exact problem before.

"Uhuh," Sebastian says, purposefully condescending as he pats the top of Kurt's head.

This is really fun, he thinks.

Kurt's reaction does not disappoint.

"Touch my hair again and die."

Sebastian laughs way too loud considering he's in a library.

It's been a long day, Judith comes back the next day and so Sebastian has spent the hour before closing rushing around making sure everything's more than perfect so that Judith won't pitch a fit. There aren't many people today as it's Thursday which means that most of the college bars will be offering half price drinks from five till six. It also means that Sebastian doesn't have to worry about students blocking his way among the shelves as he tries to ensure that there aren't any pile ups of books made by lazy assholes.

He's so immersed in trying too hard (he's always strived for perfection or at least his own strange approximation) that he doesn't even realise that Kurt's at one of the tables at the back until he's doing one last check of the shelves and everyone else has gone home.

Kurt's engrossed in his work, headphones on so loud that Sebastian knows exactly what song he's listening to. It also explains why Kurt hadn't left when Sebastian had recited the customary 'get the hell' out into the intercom.

They've been talking almost every day now, mostly just petty almost insults and jabs but Sebastian already knows that he's probably a little too invested into whatever it is they are. He would call them friends; he would except that whenever he thinks about it he feels a disappointed tingle that really shouldn't exist for Kurt at all.

He feels guilty and like he's ten years younger.

But mainly guilty.

But apparently not guilty enough to stop himself from walking over to where Kurt is and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"We're closing,"

Kurt jumps slightly, turning to look up at Sebastian with a reproachful stare. He removes his headphones and hits pause. Sebastian awkwardly removes his hand from where he'd neglected to move it from Kurt's shoulders, allowing Kurt to put his books in his satchel and stand in front of Sebastian.

"You scared me," Kurt accuses with no real bite. "Is it closing already?"

"Yeah," Sebastian says. "What were you working on that had you-"

"Your tie is blue," Kurt butts in, reaching over and touching Sebastian's tie with a feather light touch.

Sebastian swallows heavily. "Y-yes."

"It's also the same tie I showed you the other day," Kurt says lightly, still stroking Sebastian's tie and drawing them closer together. "In the book"

"I told you I had it," Sebastian reminds him, eyes fixed on the curve of Kurt's jaw.

"Yes that's true," Kurt says, eyes flashing with amusement and something that looks like intent. "And I remember you saying something about how 'it was years out of style.'"

_Caught._

"I uh guess I changed my mind," Sebastian says, going for casual but most likely ending up sounding ridiculously stupid.

"Well," Kurt says, lips moving into a smile. "I'm glad then, it looks great on you."

"Thanks."

The word hangs in the air between them and Sebastian struggles internally for something to say. It feels different between them. It could be the fact that the library is completely empty and silence rings from every corner. It could be the flickering lights, making shadows dance across both of their faces and creating the allusion of romantic candlelight. It could be how close they're standing and how Sebastian can see every freckle on Kurt's face.

But whatever it is, it ends when Kurt inhales deeply and looks straight into Sebastian's eyes.

"Go out with me."

Yes is on the tip of Sebastian's tongue. He so desperately wants to say it but-

"You know I'm a lot older than you-"

"You're still ridiculously handsome, don't worry."

"But I-"

"Sebastian," Kurt says firmly. "It's one date, you do want to right?"

Kurt gazes up, all faux innocence but still managing to look so ridiculously young and how can Sebastian say no to that?

"Just let me close up," he says, sighing exaggeratedly and not being able to hide his own smile at the sight of Kurt's face breaking into a wide grin.


End file.
